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Flower Knight Girl Launches Just Before American Tax Day

Flower Knight Girl Launch, an online gaming portal featuring premium web-based games, announced that they will be launching “Flower Knight Girl” today–just one day before US Federal Income taxes are due.

“We would like to advise American gamers that even an extremely fun and addictive game like Flower Knight Girl is not worth the risk of debtors prison,” a spokesperson pretending to work for the United States Internal Revenue Service commented. “And look, prison isn’t as much of a hoot as it seems on television or whatever. There’s no wi-fi, for starters.” When asked for other reasons gamers would want to avoid prison, the pretend IRS spokesperson claimed to be drawing a blank, and insisted that he “blew [his] load on the first example.”

Flower Knight Girl, an enchanting RPG that places you in the Kingdom of the Spring Garden as Grandmaster of the Flower Knight Girls, is sure to be a major distraction this week, and will likely have many gamers hiding from the police as they work to save the Kingdom from horrific beasts.

“I mean, if I get arrested, these bad guys are going to take over the Kingdom,” said Alex Nichols, an avid gamer and less-than-avid taxpayer who is currently on the run from the IRS for tax evasion. “Once I’ve got all of my Floral Defenders ready for battle, then I’ll probably turn myself in. Probably.”

When asked for comment, a spokesperson for stated, “We heartily encourage our American fans to pay their taxes before starting Flower Knight Girl, but we’re Canadian, so we aren’t really that invested.”

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