Marriage in MMORPGs
If you’re an old fogey like me, you’ve seen just about every kind of weirdness an MMORPG community can offer. There is one thing, though, that happens in MMOs that is relatively common. Something that I personally find to be extremely creepy and uncool. Much like the otaku nerd who marries his virtual girlfriend on his Gameboy Advance (yes, that actually happened), people in MMORPGs tend to want to take their virtual relationship to the next level. The level beyond the level cap, you might say. That level is the ultimate end-game: marriage.
Wedding in Secret of the Solstice. Many MMOs support in game marriage.
A long time ago, a trimmer, younger me used to hang out with a lot of very odd nerds. When the MMORPG scene started getting big, it wasn’t us who first dove into it, but the mother of the “chief nerd” who hosted our LAN parties and hang-outs. She was into Ragnarok Online, and she was (we believe) a happily married woman to my friend’s father. One day, we’re all being nerdy and drinking sodas and cracking extremely intricate inside jokes when we notice she is having some kind of huge event on that game she always plays. We then learn it is a wedding between her and another person in the game. Our immediate reaction was a healthy “WTF?”
Of course, no one really pried or asked. The point is, what exactly is the point of an in-game wedding? I can understand it from a roleplayer’s perspective, if two characters are involved and getting married. That’s just liking continuing a story (a very shmaltzy, boring story, but a fictional story, nonetheless). Yet there are people who haven’t ever roleplayed in their lives having big wedding events between themselves and making a big to-do out of it. Friends show up, inventory fireworks are dispatched, and fake food and drink are imbibed by all for superfluous HP and MP. It is a grand celebration. To what end, exactly?
Runes of Magic Also added an in game Wedding / Relationship system. Plenty of other games have it too.
Is it all just a big amusement? A bit of fun and nonsense? Are these people really taking their relationship seriously, and having an in-game wedding to represent that? In the case of my friend’s mother, we never really found out. To this day, I wonder how her husband stands her, but that’s really none of my business. Personally, if I found out my husband was marrying some girl avatar in an MMO, I’d be right-peeved. This has the potential to segway into a whole rant about in-game romance and relationships between players in general, but that’s another editorial for another day.
My question to the reader is this: have you witnessed an in-game wedding event? What was your reaction? Were you participating? Were you just passing by? Were you the one getting married? Share with me you perspective on this oddly common MMO phenomenon, because I’m just downright confused.
By, B. Olivia
July 15, 2010
#
Granted the in game weddings/relationships are kind of odd but in some games like Grand Fantasia and Jade Dynasty you get very powerful buffs while partied with or in the same map as your “significant other”. this buffs include but are not limited to bonus EXP, Attack power buffs, Defence buffs, ability to revive you lover if they happen to die by sacerficing all but 1 HP even if you are not a healer class, and various other skills. Because of these bonus skills and buffs you and your lover get it can make you both pretty powerful when you are together. And in most games these Romance skills can be used in PvP as well, making very strong adversaries of the two lovers. That is why the players do what the do. Also if you think back some to WoW there have been real life marriages of players that had met in game and then met in real life and hit it off. Granted this also is kind of strange but it has happened. I for one have been wanting to get married in one of the many games I play solely because of these powerful skills and buffs you get. I solo a lot but having someone to talk to while playing makes it a bit better and if we were to party then I would not hate grinding as much as I normally do. A friend of mine is kind of like you they don’t like the idea of the in game marriages/relationships. I have even told him about the skills and buffs and he still doesn’t care. The other thing these options do is help generate CS money for the developers because the players that do get married usally need to get wedding packs from the CS to complete their bond. Not all games do that though, but the ones that don’t have other items that the lovers can use to further increase their love abilities or make the wedding more “special”. Well I think I hit on most of the points for this phenominom if anyone else has other stuff to add feel free.
July 16, 2010
#1
I don’t really see anything wrong with an in-game wedding and relationships, alot of games give you rewards for it, but there something wrong with it if you are in a relationship out of game. if my wife was married in game or anything like that id be pretty mad
August 17, 2010
#2
It’s all about your ability to separate fiction from reality. Most SANE people are capable of doing this, but I know that some aren’t capable of it. But just for example… My main character in WoW back in the day ended up having a big in-game wedding. Now, I’m married in real life, and my wife was the priest PERFORMING the ceremony, so obviously she had no problem keeping reality and fiction separate either. It’s all about the characters, not the real people.
July 15, 2010
#3
Just as Blazer pointed out, Some games actually give you bonuses for getting married. I know MapleStory does, and I’m sure other games do as well. The thing about marriage in MMORPGs is that it usually costs money =/.
Plus, if you find someone “fun” to hang out with in a game, why not get married? I figure most people don’t consider it a very serious occasion anyway, though some do. I’ve read lots of stories online about people actually getting married in real life after meeting through a game, so there’s that too.
August 8, 2010
#4
I did remember something my friend told me about MapleStory.
July 15, 2010
#5
The idea it is rather creepy, even though a bit useful. The idea of getting great buffs and skills are GREAT, but marriage in a game is just nah cool=p. On the other hand however as someone who has attended one of these events(GO FIESTA ONLINE!!) I can honestly say it’s a fun expierence. But at the end of the day it should literally just be looked at as silly in-game event and not an actual “Marriage”.
*ps*In-game marriages…NAH COOL=P
July 15, 2010
#6
Instead of a marriage, how about a simple binding handshake, so it becomes less creepy?
July 16, 2010
#7
Yeah, what about a buddy system. Why can’t it be Blood-Brother/Sister thing, instead of making it seem like romance/lover relationship??
July 15, 2010
#8
Most in game marriages give bonuses when you play toghether.
I assume that’s why people would do that.
July 15, 2010
#9
I think its just something to do lol. Gives you a reason to use your hard to craft good for nothing but cosmetics items. Plus, it can be fun to plan an event of some sort, even though it doesn’t really mean anything.
I mean, what else would you use “wedding cake” for?
I would be a lot more weirded out if a real life wedding happened in game.
July 29, 2010
#10
for anyone who has played Guild Wars or at went on thier site when it first came out. two of the developers had a “wedding” of sorts in the game, and as far as i could tell that was thier actual wedding ceremony.
so yeah there have been real life marriages using games
July 15, 2010
#11
Okay, Olivia.. Everytime i read your post’s you seem to irritate me… And its because your so closed minded about everything, but yet you seem to try to make it seem like your not. You almost make fun of Role-players in this post/topic. And you have in many others, just because someone gets married in-game if its for fun, for enjoyment for w/e, why does it matter? Maybe they are online BF and GF. or BF BF, GF GF. all that matters is if there happy, if having the e-wedding add’s to this, let them have there moment.
July 15, 2010
#12
They should just add the whole shebang to the wedding system: an expensive honeymoon, intercourse, the transfer of STD debuffs, adultery, lengthy emotional divorce, unplanned pregnancy, the option for a controversial in-game abortion in a dark alley, etc etc….Now THAT’D be a helluva game.
July 15, 2010
#13
hahaha that would be great!
July 16, 2010
#14
Make one of the toons in the couple unplayable for X amount of ingame-years due to taking care of a child and when he or she returns give them a level reduction for being out of practice, but if the game allows a crafting bonus becaus thats all you can do while raising a child.lol
July 15, 2010
#15
marriage in mmorpgs are kinda…stupid. it actually meant that you LIKED the “female” that always follows you when you are gonna go to a quest or something like that. but since sometimes the “female” ppl on mmorpgs have a chance of them as the opposing gender, marriage would be sometimes a lot… g@yer!
maplestory is a good example, they have ONE wedding place for a male… and a female for THAT place. aqworlds is not one of the genre you are talking about, but they have a few quests (that r not available anymore) that some guy needs help for some stuff just to make a…ring…yeah… :\
July 15, 2010
#16
Ugh yeah I hate these things.
One of my friends actually has a boyfriend she met through an MMO who lives on the other side of the country =_=……….and I’m like really?…..wtf.
July 15, 2010
#17
Like others have said….Marriages can give buffs. My game (YES my game. No just kidding…I wish though) Grand Chase supports this system. It doesn’t go over the top though…Just slip each other a ring and done. No special outfits or anything, though there are special couple pajamas available, and in the couple window there are emotes also available. But that’s about it. nothing over the top, just a great way to get buffs.
Unfortunately my boy doesn’t play anymore, so…..Darn. >_> Nobuffsforme.
July 15, 2010
#18
I forgot to add~ I admit to being an ex-Runescape priest who married people. My cooking and crafting were high, so….I made the rings and cakes and such. Made lots of money, too! Bhuahahaha. Using twelve year olds who love each other (like Edward and Bella! /sarcasm/) for ingame money!!!
July 16, 2010
#19
I applaud you. Why didn’t I think of that?!
July 15, 2010
#20
I do find it rather creepy in a way, iv played ragnarok for years(private servers iro requires to much time but i did play it b4 private servers) and its pretty helpful if your a hardcore player cause your partner can give the other partner hp/sp and teleport to each other(Included in pvp) some people even base there builds around using a pally for sac and have there partner heal them, but then again iv found people that get a partner and have another player become there “Child” making them a baby version of there class making them weaker but much cuter. From my exp most players use it for the extra effects or if they know the person irl(only way id agree to it) and iv never seen some1 take it to extremes or maybe they have and i just didn’t see it.
July 15, 2010
#21
I once married my best friend in-game. He made a female character and I stayed my true gender. We aren’t, and never were, in love. We weren’t even role playing. So why did we do it? The in-game benefits. In Maple Story, there is an extra, marriage exclusive part quest. It was as simple as that and nothing more.
July 15, 2010
#22
Well, I’ve been to one of those “In-game” Marriages and they are pretty cool. Some players do it for the bonuses, while other do it to have a virtual boyfriend or girlfriend. I’ve seen players so protective of their “spouse” that it has become a problem to even play with them without the other joining the party. They usually get side-tracked in a tanking mission or decide to leave the party if the other leaves. That’s actually the most annoying thing that I’ve experienced.
July 16, 2010
#23
I think in-game marriages are pointless and just lead to drama and whoring around in game. Too many people take it to seriously and bring real life into it.. In-game marriages =Cant get poon IRL.
July 16, 2010
#24
Want to know something REALLY creepy? Maplestory, among other games, support gay marriage. Not that I have something against gays. But, I wouldn’t want to be a gay guy and marry another gay guy on the internet..
July 30, 2010
#25
wow that is really creepy that maplestory would allow that. Being gay is still taboo to most ppl and still not completely accepted by society. I mean you are who you are but no need to broadcast it on the internet!!!
July 16, 2010
#26
:/ In game weddings are for weirdos they both even start with W.
When you go looking for a gf/bf on an online game its because you have life issues.
Even tho im a nerd i still have standards i rather date an average looking goth chick in rl then get down with a bunch of pixel elves.
I would say half the people that get married in game do it because there looking for some type of relationship(aka weirdos =pp).
October 16, 2010
#27
Hate to break it to you but they both start with W’s in the real world too
July 16, 2010
#28
it is very creepy to have an in game wedding but all the wedding they have is a straight wedding, no gay wedding which i think is unfair. if they going to have a wedding then at least it should be fair. i’ll be happy if i find out a game actually has access to letting girl and girl get marry or two guys get marry then i’ll sign up for that game right away. like some gay nerd would lol
July 16, 2010
#29
hi think that marrgie ingame is retared like the other person said they have no life if they need to be married on game also whats up with people wanting a kid and a kid wanting a mom or dad seen that alot on yoville facebook game
July 17, 2010
#30
I actually met my boyfriend in…dun dun dun… Ragnarok online. We are happy together and have even been together in person. Right now he’s proudly serving our country overseas and I’m proud to be with him. With the concept of in-game marriage we did it because of the teleport buff. Nothing better then warping your loved one around the entire game
. Also, I understand the whole if your in a relationship irl and marry someone one different in-game. I would kill my b/f if he ever did that :3.
July 17, 2010
#31
I think it isn`t a big deal but for some people the lifeless ones it is they are getting more reason to be more on the PC wasting their lifes day by day with theire virtual lifes.
July 17, 2010
#32
This is why I love Asda Story’s Soulmate system. It’s not as awkward as marriage and they actually support it by giving out awesome bonuses. Some other game needs to do this.
July 17, 2010
#33
Yeah I’ve wondered why games implement this anyway…. I mean, I have a girlfriend, what would she say if she heard/saw me getting married to some random stranger on a game? xD I guess one company started it and the others saw it as a way to get more money. But, as ReMo says, There are stories of people meeting in video games and getting married. Ya never know I suppose.
July 18, 2010
#34
First off, just to clear things up, there is gay marriage on maplestory because a large amount of gays decided it was unfair and forced the game developers to do this based on extreme poular demand, which i suspect is not due to the fact that everyone wanted it, but because they were afraid of offending the gays. I dont wish to dwell on this topic, because i’m afraid my opinion on this might offend some.
Alright, i’ll get on with it; i dont really support normal marriage ingame. It leads to too many problems that would affect the players around in a drastic manner, more because of the drama/romance or just plain no life crap. Too many people take it seriously, which leads to another point. Of course its bound to happen, people meet up in real life and get together; but, considering the fact that with or without the marriage system those people would begin ingame dating. From there, one way or another they can still meet up in the real world. Ingame marriage is not needed to meet up.
the person who doesn’t like olivia and said she insulted roleplayers, who called him/herself “Annoyed.” Olivia did not insult roleplayers in anyway, by the contrary; she justified their reasons for doing this in comparison to the non- roleplayers who do this for no reason. I will not call you closed minded, i will call you immature. As for signing up with your best friend and making him a girl, then getting married, i can make a whole list of things wrong with that. But i won’t even try to get into guys playing as girls right now as i have tried many times but there is no way to fix this, so there is no point. They say that if you cant fix it, dont worry about it. You got married to your best friend, who you call your ingame lover despite the fact that you are not inlove, and are doing this purely for buffs. Playing a game and using its features to get buffs; granted. But the simple idea of getting married to your best friend to be a little more powerful in a game defies the logic of public appearance. I would laugh if people found out. Sure you might not care, but either way its hilarious.
Another problem about ingame marriage would be its way of causing long distance relationships, that are once again caused by something that Olivia mentioned. People take it seriously, and generally have no life. These games promote this idea and let those people waste their money to get a virtual ring for their virtual supposedly significant other. Who in reality can infact be someone who they dont expect it to. I know its rare, but its possible. But i’m straying here, long distance relationships are unhealthy for any person due to the fact thats its time consuming and may extend their time in the virtual world several times over. Although i’ll admit that its not that bad to stay on the computer for long, no visible problems, but those people can be losing sleep, losing track of their real lives just because they take their virtual lives seriously. They want to spend time with the person they married in game.They could be doing something worthwhile in the real world. But once again, i won’t let myself stray as i have done too many times over. I believe i should wrap this up as it is already too long. I’m not staying taking away in game marriages will stop this, im saying that removing ingame marriages will lessen the percentage of people losing their lives to someone across the world who probably couldnt care less. As well as taking away a part of the reason some people have “no life” as the current slang goes. Thank you for taking the time to read my Statement.
July 19, 2010
#35
my teacher in keyboard met a men i norway trough wow and now she lives with him
July 21, 2010
#36
In other words love does not have any borders but its not something i would do i am to old fashoined for that…
July 21, 2010
#37
Sounds like mister essay there had his heart broken. Me and my girlfriend find it fun to get married ingame, usually do to buffs, but other time just for the hell of it. No, we met in rl, yes she is awesome I’m aware, no you can’t have her.
Also to the guy saying I’m not getting any poon…..usually we celebrate the honeymoons in rl if you catch my drift.
July 21, 2010
#38
You know I just thought about what I typed, and maybe my girlfriend was trying to use ingame marriage to hint me…hm
July 21, 2010
#39
i have witnessed one before and it was very creepy ( it was in a game that didnt even have a dating system ) now if its in a game wit buffs and skills then it doesnt bother me
if its in a game wit no dating system at all then its fked up
July 21, 2010
#40
Creepy? That all depends upon your point of view.
As a real-life married woman who just happens to enjoy playing games with my husband, I find an in game marriage a unique and enchanting way to celebrate our anniversary.
Besides, it makes for a really interesting story to share with friends.
July 21, 2010
#41
I remember i once got married in Ragnarok Online, and i went through hell to get the clothes and and the bouquet for the wedding, it really made you think, are you willing to waste time grinding and farming to get the money and materials, therefore only people who actually wanted to do that actually got married, [rant]and then there was this huge party in prontera church and there was confetti all around[/rant], anyways i guess the divorce rate was much lower and you didnt have all those OP buffs….
July 22, 2010
#42
I don’t understand the problem, a few things did spring to mind. I thought it was weird people, well I should say young boys, are so insecure of homosexuality that online gay marriage bothers them………weirder than pretending to be married. Second are people, probably still young boys, who comment on others’ lack of a life by getting married in a game. That’s right COMMENT on others having no life. I may think someone is a loser or something of that nature but hypothetically to comment of their “lack of a life’ in a multi-paragraph post on an mmosite. Especially a free one probably filled with “people with no lives” is much weirder than anything I’ve read in this article or the comments proceeding it. Following people online just to tell them THEY have no lives…………….admirable, interesting, and sexy!! Oh wait no it’s just sad, or bullying for the weak I suppose. If you’re that guy go get married online, at least one person will virtual- like you.
July 22, 2010
#43
I support marriage in-game for RP or questing benefit.
July 24, 2010
#44
look idk about in game marriage and it really doesnt bother me. its ppls life and their choice what they want to do. i dont hate it though neither it creeps me out. but some views put here are simply immature. for one thing i knw its not weird to have a person u like over internet. its same as those dumb matrimony sites. so i jst want to ask whats wrong in meeting someone online , fall in love and marry in real life? isnt a person online “real”. and why does it bother u ppls that someone is marrying in an online game. well as far as i knw its their personal affair. u like it u do it u hate it.
so my view on in game marriageis neutral coz i hate judging others action. everyone makes their own choice. and for those ppls who met in game and married in life ima jst say to them ” really awsome. most ppls dont have guts to go that far. i wish u a very happy and prosperous married life.”
July 24, 2010
#45
look idk about in game marriage and it really doesnt bother me. its ppls life and their choice what they want to do. i dont hate it though neither it creeps me out. but some views put here are simply immature. for one thing i knw its not weird to have a person u like over internet. its same as those dumb matrimony sites. so i jst want to ask whats wrong in meeting someone online , fall in love and marry in real life? isnt a person online “real”. and why does it bother u ppls that someone is marrying in an online game. well as far as i knw its their personal affair. u like it u do it u hate it then dont do it. why poke ur nose in others buisness.
so my view on in game marriageis neutral coz i hate judging others action. everyone makes their own choice. and for those ppls who met in game and married in life ima jst say to them ” really awsome. most ppls dont have guts to go that far. i wish u a very happy and prosperous married life.”
July 25, 2010
#46
Its pretty funnx with the whole marriage in-game ^^ havent done it but like the wedding party ^^
August 1, 2010
#47
Haven`t done it yet, but planing with ma rl gf..and if you don`t find creepy sitting in chair for 10-25hours playing some MMO, idk why this would be.
August 2, 2010
#48
It’s all about itemwhoring and 12year olds spending too much time infront of their computers, ending up falling “in love” with some avatar..
My friend actually pretended to be a chick in endless online when we were kids and the whole reason he did it was because that poor portugese guy who thought he was a chick gave him free items ;D
August 2, 2010
#49
hello!? i dont think online marrige and bf and gf if wrong but it is a bit creepy but one of my friends on wizard101 had a marrige just look it up on u tube wizard101 marrige its also creepy cause other friends had sex in the game idk but i teleported to him and they where standing infront of each other saying ‘o yea suck it yea ummmm’ or ‘ in the butt hole yea yea harder harde’ creepy!
August 3, 2010
#50
I feel in game marriage is just absolutely silly, not only do most games not allow gay marriage which is unfair it also has one aspect a lot of people don’t look at.
Playing solo is important to some people games shouldn’t have a quest (like ESO) where you give an item to the opposite sex (of course…) and you get experience, its annoying and unfair for people that don’t want to spam chat channels to find someone to give the item too, buffs or no buffs it shouldn’t be an option.
August 4, 2010
#51
everything that i just read means that u guys hvae no lives -_-
August 8, 2010
#52
Basically in game marriage is for people who rome for love and/or build a large relationship through cyber friendship. This is completely normal.
August 13, 2010
#53
I really think it’s just another social aspect to gaming; not much more, and yes it can be hardcore. You get those examples where ingame weddings have destroyed real weddings, and then you get those best mates who just wed for the sake of it, and the fun of it.
Depends on the person, see? For me, though, I find it pointless.
August 17, 2010
#54
One game that went to far with this is Tales Runner. They started with couples. And i was like okay.. Then Marriage. My reaction was “weird….”, then kids. I got really weirded out because you all know how kids are made and most 10 year olds do to. Trust me i go to school and i hear 5th graders screaming “Suck my ****!!!”. So kids Tales Runners? Really?
April 9, 2012
#55
I like marriage systems in videogames. I play MMORPGs all the time with my real life boyfriend, and when we do play, we love getting married [mostly when there's benefits involved.] I also like preventing him from flirting with other women in-game when it says “_____’s Husband” above his name like in most games. >:D